I get maternal

Well, well. I heard via the grapevine a few weeks ago that Craig had gotten married. This morning I read in the paper that he's had a baby girl.

I don't know why I even care. It's not as though I was in love or anything. Really. Or not much. Dammit. I just like to know where I stand with a guy. I wonder if his wife knows he plays for both teams? I wonder if she knows how much he cheats on her? That he cheated while she was pregnant with his child? There are rules, for God's sake.

 

Well, I never would have expected this in a million years. I was chilling in the park, just catching up on the latest gossip, when Morgana Wolff, who looked like she'd swallowed a basketball, actually went into labor right in front of me. A bunch of people started freaking out, and I had no idea what to do.

Then it dawned on me that nobody was going to do anything, and she was going to drop that poor kid right there on the asphalt. I pulled my shit together and got her to the hospital somehow. Somebody had to. She was in no condition to do anything but stand there and scream. I wasn't feeling so hot myself. I waited around the hospital because I hadn't seen hide nor hair of anybody else volunteering to take care of her. It was actually a really quick delivery. She must have been about two seconds from delivering when we got there. I suppose the stress of having your baby in a park would have a tendency to accelerate things a tad!

Anyhow ... it's a girl, and they were both fine. I took mom and baby home because nobody had any idea where Thornton was.

He was home by the time we arrived. As it turned out, he'd been kept late at the office, with his phone turned off, for his whatchamacallit, his performance evaluation. As a result, he came home with a big, fat promotion as well as a new baby.

He was so proud, he looked about to burst. He actually puffed out his chest just the way they describe in books. It was so adorable.

I got to play with little Monika, and I stayed to babysit while Dad made dinner and Mom got some much needed shut-eye.

They named the baby Trinity. Isn't that cute? I gave her her first bottle.  I thought she was beautiful, and I never think that about babies. She's warm and soft and cuddly, and makes cute little noises and she smells delicious. I may actually want one of these one day.

Oh, I almost forgot about what I overheard at the park. People are saying Pauline Wan has a new boyfriend. His name, get this, is Gustavo! And I know for a fact that Hank is still living alone. I wonder if she at least lets him visit his new baby. Oh my god. Oh my God! I'm so gullible sometimes. It might not be his. Duh. I didn't think of that. Oh, man. They seemed like such a perfect couple, too.

I see a ghost

Went to the gym with Tamara and Garth. Tamara disappeared who knows where as soon as we got there, but Wayne and I went upstairs to use the machines. Whoever invented these modern appliances of torture should just DIE!

Somebody said that Pauline and Hank just had another baby. Funny thing is, last time I heard, Hank had moved out and is living alone on the other side of town. I wonder what that's all about.

I got tired of going to the library all the time, and I hate their computer anyway. It's running Vista and it's slow and a pain in the ass. So I bought a nice new one so I can blog at home. It's PINK! I found this cool old distressed wood desk to put it on, too. I mostly just use it to play GTA.






I went back over to the haunted house. I expected to be thoroughly snubbed because of my being kind of a jerk before, but they're nice.

Ginny accepted my apology right away. Ginny Egon, that is. She explained that she and her husband Dax just moved here from Riverview.

 He does some kind of scientific research for Landgraab Industries, and that's when I sort of zoned out for a minute because whatever it is, it's over my head and it all started sounding like blah, blah, blah. The company moved him here because of the state of the art science facility just outside of town. She hopes to get on the police force here.




They told me that the first night they were here, they saw a weird mist rising from the ground, but only in their yard, not mine or anybody else's. Some time after midnight, they saw ghosts walking around the house. It was a shock at first, but at least one of the ghosts is actually very friendly. So, apparently, the ghosts came with the house, but they didn't show their faces until some people moved in that they could haunt.


Okay, so as Nancy Drew ferretting out some deep, dark secret, I suck. But look at the bright side. Not only have I found some new friends in this dead boring little neighborhood - people who actually come out of their house once in a while and talk to you, for God's sake - but some of them are ghosts! God Damn, that's cool.

I hung around talking to Ginny and Dax until midnight, hoping to see another ghost. They invited me to crash on their sofa because, they said, I wouldn't see the ghosts until really late, and I might have to stay there the whole night and catch a nap while I waited. "Awesome," I said, hoping for an adventure.

I almost wish I hadn't. I don't know what bug she got up her ass, but Ginny, who had begun the evening so genially, got downright bitchy as the evening wore on, and started being rude to me, right out of the blue. Maybe she was tired and wanted me to go home after all, but she could have said so. Maybe she's jealous because I hit if off with Dax a lot faster than I did with her. Hey, that's her problem, not mine. I am NOT after your man, ho. I mean, lady. It's not as though we were flirting or anything. Just talking about things we have in common.

Then they started in on each other. Maybe she's just got a mean streak. Maybe I'd walked in on some kind of family fight. Mind your own business, Zayne! God! Anyway, I didn't exactly want to stand there and watch them yell at each other, so I went outside to see the ghost that had just popped up in the back yard.

I was so excited that I ran right up to him wihout even wondering if it was safe. I used my most charming introduction, and he responded most cordially. This ghost was different than the one I'd seen before. He was a tall, lean, dapper looking man. He wasn't pink, either. He was pale blue, with long white hair that seemed to glow with an inner light. I guess it DID glow with an inner light. Hee, hee. I hope he's not radioactive or anything.

He introduced himself as Wyatt Acosta. He told me he drowned, and that's where the blue coloration came from. He didn't give me the details of his death, and I thought it impolite to ask. Maybe he'll tell me some day. I found out that he was considered quite a virtuoso in life, and I was going to ask him if ghosts could play guitar - just think how cool to jam with a ghost - when he suddenly ran past me around the house, got into a car that had just pulled up to the curb, and zoomed off. Weird!

I'm very intrigued by this whole ghost business, and I hope I find out more about them one of these days. Right now, it's the middle of the night and everybody else is in bed, and I need a shower and some food. Bed is sounding pretty good, too.

I smell a secret and get a scare

Last night, I had another new friend over. Ran is his name. Interesting name, I thought. Sexy guy, too. I wanted to touch his beard to see whether it was soft or wiry, but I didn't. We'll see where the friendship goes on its own. It might be nice to have a guy that I'm just friends with, for a change. If I can withstand his sex appeal and cute smile. Knowing me, ... I'd better not finish that thought. We chatted and watched TV until after midnight. I was just getting the munchies when he said he needed to go home.

While I was making some sushi (It was anchovy roll; I think it would have been better if I'd used tuna) I thought I heard a weird noise outside the kitchen window, and I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Now, I know I watch too much TV, but I swear what I saw looked like ... well, like a ghost.

Leaving my plate on the table, I went outside to snoop. There were lights on in the house across the street, in the middle of the block: that really run-down looking one. The one that looks like a mobile home. Some more new people must have moved in on the block. Cool.

I ran across the street as stealthily as I could (ever try to run stealthily?) and peeked in the window. My heart jumped up in my throat in guilty shock. There was a young woman about my age standing just inside the window, looking out. If I hadn't bit my tongue to stifle the scream, I could have landed a juicy lead part in a horror movie right then and there. Move over, Jamie Lee "scream queen" Curtis.

I heard voices from inside, and the door opened. Before I could figure out how to react, the woman was outside, shooing me away from her window. I'm so naturally nosey, I had to remind myself that I was the one acting like a dork and she had a perfect right to shoo me away. I'm such a mess sometimes.

I thought the wisest course was to simply make myself scarce, and leave the apologies for daylight, when we were all a little less on edge. Okay, when I was a little less on edge. As I was turning away, I saw it again. Inside.

I swear to God it was a ghost. It looked like a thin, slightly stooped old woman with white hair, but she wasn't ... well .... she wasn't all there. She was translucent and, okay, I'll just say it, she was glowing pink. I had the uncanny feeling that she knew I was looking at her, though her back was to the window.

I was unnerved enough to sprint back across the street and straight into my nice warm bed. You'll never get me to admit that the covers found their way up over my head. The maid can clean up my dinner remains tomorrow. 

Even in my haste, I saw Wayne peering in the Alvi's window! Either somebody inside woke up, or he heard all the racket I was making, because he scooted out of there like a jackrabbit. Two Peeping Toms in the same night! I wonder if it's a full moon. There's definitely something going on in my neighborhood. What are my new neighbors hiding?

I make nice with the new neighbors

Oh, man. I should read the paper more often. It says some guy died of starvation. There's going to be an investigation. With all the places to get free food around here, I wonder how that happened.

Oh my God, what a day I'm having. First the TV burned up or something. I heard a pop and smoke started coming out. Since I know about as much about electronics as I do about open heart surgery, I called the repair shop. While Devin was here fixing the TV, the dishwasher crapped out and water started flowing all over the floor. I couldn't deal with it at all, so I split. I am NOT the domestic goddess type.

About once in a blue moon I actually get a teensy bit envious of girls like Devin who can actually fix things. But then I get over it. She probably couldn't play a decent Fm7 or Dm7add9 if the future of mankind depended on it.


I have some new next door neighbors! I went over to meet them today. Just call me the welcome wagon. Or call me nosey, which would be the truth.

Wayne Garth and Tamara Jones are their names. I'm glad somebody finally moved into that little house. I was tired of it being empty.

Wayne is cute with a capital Q.


He knows it, too.
*eyeroll*

His girlfriend, Tamara, is really nice. We hit it off right away. They're both really athletic. I offered to show them the gym and introduce them around.

 

I invited them over for dinner, too.

Hah, just look at that knife fly! Mmm-mmm, smells good. Say, maybe I should rethink that domestic goddess thing.

I remember who I am

The best way to get over a heartache is in the arms of another man ... right?

Or, uh ... men. Hee, hee, hee.

Why be selfish?

My, my. I do love a man in uniform.

I love him out of it even more.

Throwing yourself into your work is good, too.

I am one tired puppy.

Oh yeah, baby.

Look out, Sunset Valley. Zayne is back!

I get a case of penis envy, I mean house envy, learn some new dance moves, and get punked

Craig invited me over to his house this afternoon. He had a few people over, but the fabled girlfriend was nowhere in sight.

His house is absolutely gorgeous, and I got a bad case of house envy. My spare little shack is honestly all a single girl needs, and being the, er, different sort that I am, I love the decor. It was all black until I got busy with a paintbrush, and now it's pink and black. It suits me. But Craig's house is almost exactly the kind of house I want when I hit that mythical simolean motherlode. Actually, I know the house I really want. It's right on the beach, and nobody has bought it yet. I keep checking, just in case.

But back to Craig's house. This is the view across the ... courtyard, I guess you'd call it. There's a creek running right through the whole thing, crisscrossed by wooden decks and walkways. It's very modern, but not cold. I seriously covet this house. Sigh.



Okay, what the HELL IS IT with this guy? His name is Jon, and I don't know him very well. Didn't he used to be my maid? Wasn't he the one who started yelling at me out of the blue the minute he walked in the door? Or was he the one who liked me? I don't remember. Either he's a split personality or he's got a twin.

Well, he doesn't like me now. He started in on me the minute I walked in the door. Like I'd ever done anything to him! He wouldn't even look at me, for crying out loud.




Suspicions began forming when I began noticing the artfully torn shirt, the way his eyes were riveted soulfully on Craig, even while Craig was coming on to me nonstop. Forming, only to be discarded as silly. Oh, what do I care if he doesn't like me?











Craig likes me enough for both of them! *squee*







A little talking, a little dancing ... it was a fun evening. It got really late, and Craig said I could sleep over. Go ahead, cutie. Twist my arm.




I'm not slow on the uptake. No, indeedy. If you hit me over the head with a two-by-four seven or eight times, I get it.

It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. I had kept normal hours for the past couple of days, not my usual nightowl ones, and I was asleep on my feet. I'd been having some drinks on the deck with Craig, digging the breeze and the singing of the night insects. I thought he got up to go to the bathroom, but when he didn't come back I realized how late it was.






It wasn't until I began prowling the house searching for my bed, or rather Craig's bed, that the truth finally dawned on me. That I got brought up short yet again by the icy realization that I am, without a doubt, the most utterly fucking naive person on Earth.




I knew he had a girlfriend, okay? I knew I had several boyfriends. I'm no prude. I'm a grownup girl, and as long as everybody knows where they stand, nobody gets hurt. I sure as hell never expected to have to compete with another woman and another man. It's too much; I can't handle it.

And to flaunt it right in front of me after inviting me over. What the hell was that about? What possible purpose could that serve but to hurt me in the cruelest way possible?

Have a few laughs, don't hurt anybody. It should be simple. But he made me think he was in love with me. Made me feel like The One. I wasn't even looking for anything but a few laughs, and he had to go and ruin it.

BASTARD.

BASTARD!